My private words

Tired.

2007-12-27T09:04:00.000-08:00

I am everyone's life jacket.

Who is going to be mine.

I can only say that its been real sweet

2007-12-23T19:47:00.000-08:00

Have been hitting the clubs pretty hard the past week and I should put the brakes on until countdown. Its been so so crazy and it happened so fast.. guess we were all part of the queue.

Oh yeah!! I walked from Jurong Point to Jurong West!! Past Lakeside... Chinese Garden.. I never thought I would be something like tt really! It was pretty fun I would say.. Next stop I will take a day off and walk around to Changi?!

The crazy week is finally over and I want to put the year behind me and embrace the Lord's plan.

God is awesome let me tell you that! Despite all that has happened, I could close my eyes and totally be in his santuary. The peace was good.

Rocking with Jesus!

2007-11-26T05:26:00.000-08:00

What can I say man! I am really blessed! I see his blessings and its always more than I can ever imagine! Awesome! If I could sit you down and tell u everything that has been going on you will agree with me that its God! Besides all the money rolling in.. next come favour with people and making new friends from all the weddings.

My weekends now are just taken up by weddings and weddings but really its fun! I mean all the excitment around the house and the church being apart of it one would be honoured.

Someone said this to me in chinese " young ppl should be busy or else we wont be called young ppl." True to that!

How do you tell someone the hard truth and that they have been cheated or things that they dont see?

Here in my room.

2007-11-12T05:00:00.000-08:00

I love the way life is now... Photoshoots here and there and this weekend is one pretty special with my MP man! Dad was saying tt Dr vivian has a chance to become a President one day and Dr Eng Neo could be the next PM.. kinda interesting to think abt it and I know tt all the ladies will so have His picture in their homes anytime! Haha..

What more can I ask for now? Great company and awesome places to hang out! Yeah God has plans to prosper totally!

Somehow I cringe when I see myself on the SE I mean its so weird to see yrself acting and you know that you could do so much better! Well what what it is worth it was fun! Pure Fun! Many thanks to Regina! Well its finally done and I can take my rest in church now.

Something in the papers caught my attention today it was abt how girls are different when they are with their Bfs and all. One would be so angry and shame the guy when he repeatedly apologise for being late and her reason was that if she has to have high expectations cos he is going to take care of her. true to a certain extend but guess what they broke up 2 yrs later. If you ask me just treat others how you want to be treated. Simple as that.

Its entertaining to see how both our predictions come into place.

These couple of days...

2007-11-05T07:07:00.000-08:00

Have been getting very little sleep and all but am getting used to it.. its like after u pass the sleeping hrs you can really continue to embrace the day only slower and I think everything else seems so bright. Mel thinks its so sureal how I see it! Haha..

My time has been so busy and all I hardly have time to blog but see pictures capture what I wanna say so much faster.. less than a second and it speaks for itself.

With all the weddings and assignments I think my photography skills has got so much better! Its really fun learning from the pros! Weddings are full of emotions and I feel really honoured to be apart of it.

Balik Kampong tml!! WoooooT!!

a D grade?!

2007-10-28T10:44:00.001-07:00

A essay that I did for an SMU friend and I contributed to it maybe a quater?! Haha... Okay I only had like 3 hrs to do 2 pages plus and some text are really not easy to grasp.

Abt Internet communities and their idenity. Oh well.. It was fun.

Awesome!

2007-10-27T11:39:00.000-07:00

Wedding shoots are really fun to be apart of man! Even though I wasnt paid or anything I learned alot and I mean things tt some ppl arent so open to share. Really cool tips of the trade man! Can you believe that some ppl actually paid up to 500/hr for a photographer?! Took alot of great pics and all.. it was awesome simply fun.

Oktober Fest. Lets just say that I wont drink with James anymore except tea! Ha! Cos of my camera eqip. some ppl just ask me to go to their tables to take pics! Haha.. It was fun man.. the atmosphere and all pretty much the older crowd.

I cant wait for the church CD to be out! So much effort has been put into it man! Countless days we stayed over 12 to edit and stuff although my job was just to decide on the parts that go into the limited edition.

They are some girls tt you probably come across with really colourful night life and I will let your mind wander off.. Just know where you stand even though they have a pretty face and all.

Its over.

2007-10-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

Its over now. No more talk is needed already.

I have said all I wanted to say. People dont change overnight. If its yr nature, it is.

No longer do I care about what u think of me. Look at yrself and see how self centered you are.

I am tired.

.....Tks for the memories even if they werent so great.....

|Things are taking a turn now...

2007-10-25T01:28:00.000-07:00

Thats the way things are now for me or aound me.

The church's cd project is almost done just finalised the pictures tt goes in it and the credits and all. I really enjoy doing all these interviews and cracking jokes here and there.. Go grab the limited ed. of the CD cos its really good!

Somethimes I am just confused abt the different signals that I receive at my end. Like how am I suppose to respond to this and that.

I shall not talk about my studies until things are finalised.

Its good to know that I am not walking alone now.. I think all of you know who you are.. your calls and msgs are really comforting. Thanks for your concern "G".

From my heart.

2007-10-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

It was really hard to do what I did.

Its going to be hard walking alone.

I wish you all the best in what you do.

Seeing you cry breaks my heart as tears fills my eyes typing this. I said this before and I say this again. " A girl like you should never cry and I fail to do that time over again."

I am sorry but if its meant to be we will open the door and see each other.

God help me.

Wedding Song

2007-10-10T07:17:00.001-07:00

I know its really early to talk about something like tt but its just stuff tt comes to my mind time to time. I have been to couple of weddings and they have played stuff like Bryan Adams which is so popular but for me...

Umbrella by rihanna on the guitar cos the words pretty beautiful.

"Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other"

Fall out

2007-10-06T10:59:00.000-07:00

One night and one more time.. Thanks for the memories.

Embracing Him again

2007-10-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

I finally got time to pray for myself after so many years. Seriously it was so long ago that I remember my ex cell leader telling me that we should go about praying using your hand as a guide. For example, from your family to unsaved people and yourself.

Its only when we dont have what we desire that our hands clasp in prayer. I always ask myself this question " Are you ready when Jesus comes again? "

I would say that I have been truely blessed by Him even though things arent good. I never complain cos he never fails to provide in every sense.... family..friends..everything.

I want to come home now. Its in that place I know I can be myself.

Moving from here

2007-09-27T09:17:00.000-07:00

These couple days I admit that I have been quite far from God and I have said things to some people that I shouldnt. We all know that being far from Him would just carry alot of unwanted thorns with us but still we fall short.

My critism department hasnt been doing very well lately and deep down inside I know it all boils down to one reason. How ironic when the place the one person seeks refuge in, is being tossed around with critism.

Lead me back. Dont want to make the wrong choice.

My hands are tied to do what a Brother would do..

Well its your decision and I respect it...

An apology

2007-09-18T11:43:00.000-07:00

I said things I know its out of anger.
I prayed about it and I know I was wrong.
I am sorry.

If you forgive me then leave a sign on yr blog so I know if I should call.

I walk this alone

2007-09-18T09:22:00.000-07:00

No one will ever know how rejected I feel... No one ever.
I mean I went all the way down to take those shots.
Thought hard about how it should be.
Bought drinks for those strangers.
Stayed hours there.
You guys said its crap.
Not even thinking of putting through selection?

Screwed.

Genuine ppl are hard to come by nowdays. People tend to care for you only if are unable to do your job or unable to cather to them. As crude as it sounds but its true.

Live Earth

2007-09-12T07:37:00.000-07:00

Today my sister crashed my room all in the name to save electricity! Haha.. Well it was fun as I introduced her to pacman. Then my parents came in and give it a try. It was hilarious the way mum tried her hands on it.

Here are some good-to-know-tips abt it though.

Getting all 4 monsters will get you 1600 pts
Be prepared to change yr direction any second
The monsters dont usually try to trap you
Place your moves in advance that way you save time.
Try to get the monsters close to you before you snap up on the Power thingy

Anyways am not in the mood to talk about anything serious. I enjoying making everyone laugh at the dinner table. Come feb everything will be different.

Listening

2007-09-07T01:13:00.000-07:00

How many people actually listen to you when you speak? Probably not as close if it doesnt affect them directly. Then again how many actually listen and more importantly are doers when God speaks. I shall not go into the dynmics of listening, oh well I leave it to you if u heard what I said or listen.

a new thang..

2007-08-29T07:38:00.001-07:00

This is something new that I have never dealt with before..

This is what I have been learning these couple of days. Doing something for chuch and keeping focused knowing that you are doing it for God and to put yr feelings aside- your pride etc. if they are not widely accepted. One thing that has been on my mind is this phrase "What kind of cross are you carrying?"

Here are some of the different types of cross people carry (I think, this is just my opinion)

Sunday Christian
I worship God in my heart and I dont go church
I go to God when I need something
I keep the cross inside my closet
I lead two different lives

There are probably a couple more but just didnt come to my mind. This is not to judge anyone but serves as a reminder to all of us.

Time is not on my side!

2007-08-20T06:14:00.000-07:00

The email came to me in a frantic rush! I need to come up with 4 good covers for a cd and I need it FAST!

"God please provie ppl at Sentosa tml."

I praise you even when I am down.

2007-08-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

"Ouch!" I didnt even see it coming and I least expect it especially now that I am an adult. Some things I can never comprehend not now for the time being. "Why did you hit me! I dont understand!" well, what I do understand is that there is still a God. My issues are all so small when I look at people around me.

The pieces seems fitting now and I am happy again. This is something that I will always give thanks and pray for every awaking moment. Always my source of comfort.

2007-08-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

Haha.. I never thought I would do this but thought of just giving it a try. I just did it as best I could.

2 Words of Affirmation

9 Quality Time
3 Receiving of Gifts
8 Acts of Service
8 Physical Touch

"Explained much of your past behavior Think backover the past and ask yourself "What have I most often requested from significant others?" Chances are your answer will lie within the scope of your primary & secondary love languages. You have been requesting that which would meetyour deepest need for emotional love. "

As I was in worship God showed me a picture and I was deeply encouraged.

Its about the story of the 3 men being thrown into the fire and Jesus was seen as the 4th figure with them. Cant find where it is from though. But here is what God is trying to say to me that even if we are thrown into the fire we should still praise God and not deny him. Secondly, its through the fire we are made more refined. Just like a sword.

In the process..

2007-08-07T04:59:00.000-07:00

Firstly. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELLY! I am happy that things are going right for you now. cheers!

Secondly, Your love quiz thingy is so hard to do la! cos I cant click both answers! Lol

I am in the process of getting restored and I really want to reach the finishing line. Just like all roller coaster rides mine have to stop too. Praise God that despite my situation, God gave me the wisdom and spirit to help others around me.

This is the kind of grace that my lips will ever praise.

Not my will but yours be done.

My prayer

2007-08-05T10:42:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

Please wrap your hands around me as I serve you so selflessly.

Amen.

Praise be to God

2007-08-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

I was no longer angry when I was in His Santuary.

I have decided to let it go nor will I never look back.

God's grace is sufficent for me.

the last straw

2007-07-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

Remember how I mentioned before that this month I have been in a way forced to grow spiritually and mature? I felt it was all put to a final test yesterday. Really.

The weeks has been tough and God had always been there; to comfort and opened my eyes to things that I have not seen. Also to comprehend beyond my understanding. Like a saying "When you have God you have denied loneliness" it was preached before only now you live to ride it.

I had a vision close to two months ago and I have no idea what it is about until yesterday then I realised what it meant. I was foolish not to seek God and I paid the price. All the while I had no peace and my spirit was troubled. I held on and it was tough. Nobody should go through it. God was my only refuge I mean ppl cant always be there.

A thousand things flashed my mind when I heard something my ears would never want to endure. Never been so broken. Never so hurt.

I really praise God for preparing me before and raising me up-working this grace and love through me. God knows my heart it was crying out so loud that I couldnt hear myself thinking properly. It was draining. One of the darkest times.

In short, things are getting back on track now. Rode out of the storm. I know we have been thought to love our neighbour as ourselves and treat others how you want to be treated. I did the only thing I could. Blessing someone. I praise God for his peace and wisdom to do the right thing. The devil will come to kill, steal and destroy but only when you fight it then you see victory.

Here is the crunch. Only when your walk is right then everything will fall into place.

Its over.

The Omnipotent.

2007-07-27T07:10:00.000-07:00

Philippians 4:7:

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Outside.

2007-07-26T09:55:00.000-07:00

You bring me to my knees again
All the times that I could beg you please, in vain

Time like this...

2007-07-25T07:51:00.000-07:00

I never meant to make you feel different around me. You have been away for so long and I really do miss you. I am sorry if I was too impulsive but know my kind intentions now at least it has come to my attention. Its not within my reach to do anything now. I give you all the time you need. I am sorry.

Always in my prayers and thoughts.

Tuesday Grp

2007-07-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

On my way there with my sis an old man offered to move aside so both of us could sit together. So as usual I initated a conversation with him in Chinese mind you! Haha.. Yeah and one of the things he said was not to think so much and its interesting how how God works in our lives! Our God is never a boring God! Amen!

Indeed it was really a shift in my spiritual p.o.v I hope I can remember all the stuff to share with you.

Romans 1:21
"For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God or gave thanks to Him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened."

Yes! God's word deserves to be in Bold! Haha! Anyways yeah smth to learn from this verse is that it starts with thoughts that we have that leads to out hearts to be hardened. For example there are ppl who blame their parents for their upbringing and their hearts turn cold and fingers start to point but truth is there is restoration in Christ and in Him we are made complete! Isnt that amazing?! Another thing to note is that there are alot of things that happen or we feel about start with our thoughts.

If I were to always think about Soccer (which I am totally not! though I dont see the point in the game) then soccer is pretty Big in my life right? Just like if I were to always think about Jesus and Jesus in the same way would be magnified in my life right?! Amen! So yeah Our thoughts are so powerful! Think about Harry Potter! He always says "focus.. focus" then a spell comes to past right? So we just need to focus on Jesus! We will soon be walking like him!

Another of the many stuff I learned..

Truths are always above feelings. I mean its good to have feelings and all but we must always remember about the truth! If I feel like flying and if I jump, I would certainly die cos I cant fly! If we feel that we are not loved by God or dont feel loved in anyway I urge you to receive in the truth! That God loves you! Deut 36:5 1 John 5:1 there are just too many to put down!

Last thing! I promise Do you know whats the greatest sin?

Its unbelief! Not to believe that God doesnt exist and am sure you have heard the verse before that it is impossible to please God. Below is a verse God has promised!

Ecc 2:26
To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Well I wouldnt say I am on a Spiritual High but I have been so hungry for God in every single way! There are so many stuff that one would be open to when your hunger is so intense! I pray that you will be blessed reading this.

We are not great men of God but men with a GREAT GOD!

Let me continue...

2007-07-18T08:37:00.000-07:00

It was you who picked up the pieces

Retured to me what others stole

I don't wanna hurt you

I don't wanna make you sway

Like I know I've done before

I will not do it anymore

A word of psalms.

2007-07-18T04:36:00.000-07:00

Psalms 16:11

"you have made known to me the path of life; you fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

It was there in the sentence that arrest my attention so I did just that and just dwell in his presence, it was amazing how he comforts as if he puts a robe around me. I just worship God and I was filled with so much grace and he began to unveil things I never could comprehend. Peace was in my spirit once again.

Its only when we are uncomfortable that we grow in spirit and understanding. Just think about this if you were used to give him glory isnt that the greatest thing ever? I pray that whoever is reading this would know the God that I know.

Firstly I want to thank friends around who have been praying and I am glad to have such Godly friends like you guys. Secondly I want to say thanks Duncan for dropping by with the raw fish! It was a double surprise and God really know how to bless! Amen! God's gesture was so evident through him! Thanks again man..

Living for his glory.

Hands up?

2007-07-17T10:50:00.000-07:00

Its quite hard to keep your eyes focused on God when yr mind is so distracted.
I say amen to my faith that keeps on coming back each time I fail.
Yes I will speak to God and talk to him.

These are the words spoken over me.

Thinking out of the box.. Healing.. Faith rising up.. God has a ministry for me soon.. thinking outta of the box.

A first.

2007-07-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

I never felt so vulnerable before to the point where God spoke through someone in church as I had a visitor entered my pre-school room. She said "I did my quiet time today and God wants me to tell you not to be afraid." I had been so down that I cant hear his voice.

I have fallen so short of his glory to be as christ-like as I can.
I am sorry God for not be the best you want me to be.
Pick me up just like how you pulled joseph out.
I deliver this unto you with total surrender.

Through the fire we are made strong.

Lets see..

2007-07-12T22:40:00.000-07:00

This couple of weeks have been a learning process..
My eyes were opened to things I never knew..
Things that fall into place cos of him..
I need to focus my eyes on him..
Cos we all know he is the way..
Will we be ready when he comes?
I know I am not.

4 weeks ago I delicated my life for God to rock my boat to levels I have never experienced. Its been such a crazy journey and he will never put you through what you cant bear. I am getting wisdom on things that I need to take control of. Lord give me the strength if I must do.

Its been ages!

2007-06-20T20:43:00.000-07:00

I shall not attempt to fill in everything tt has happened. But in short sentences.

21st B day. It was a great one!

Youth.C Awesome!

Yaz C. Jaws dropping!

Okays those are just one or two words. I thought I was living on the edge until I watched persuit. I sing his anthem despite everything.

Think about this.

2007-04-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt that your hands are too short when you sing praise?

Have you ever felt that you wanna dig a hole cause you just feel so small compared to his feet?

Have you ever felt that he deserves so much more from what you are giving?

Have you stopped and think of him?

My spirit is awaken to his voice.

Happy 3 months! Yes I will to be your favourite boy.

Blessed.

2007-04-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

This is absolutely beautiful.

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

There is silence in the water.

2007-04-17T09:20:00.002-07:00

How do you tell a lady to put her insecurities aside so the others could board the bus?

Quite an interesting scene on the bus today while I was on my way to fix a clock. I wanted to talk to his guy beside if I should confront the lady, swallowed the asperation of air in my mouth when I was taken aback by how uncouth he carried himself in public!

He thought I didnt see him picking his nose (Oh it didnt stop here)

He used his pinky to dig his ear (PCK style)

Used the SAME HAND to reach for his phone!

Thats it man. I kept my peace.

Run the race.

2007-04-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

Just a couple more weeks to go and things is just gonna get better. The exams and everything.Here are some of the pics taken at the Golf Tournement and the highlight for me was when I had the chance to lay my hands on this 5 grand camera! My knees just went soft...(not as soft when I saw her sittin there)

This is the best shot ever tt day. My jaws dropped. For real.

Isn't it amazing to see how God moves so mightly in someone's life? ITS EXCITING! The whole process is awesome!

After a while

2007-04-02T06:39:00.000-07:00

Praise God for everything!! There were hard times.. so hard that its even in your breath.

Work politics is one thing that I have vey little experience with because its something I do not want to touch. It can get quite draining when people start pouring their heart out one after another an worst if they are not going to lift a finger. No matter how hard God still carries you through. Think of Job! I was moved and felt lifted as God spoke throgh the bible.

As I was looking at the past entry, I can see how much my views have shifted in regards to the worship thingy. It was great talking to Ben as he helped me sort things out and see it from a whole angle! I should step aside and let the others lead. Its ego and it kills.

So yeah! The much anticipated Golf Tournment!! It was really routine for the first couple of hours. All I did was to say to the people "Its photo taking time.. Now I need you guys to stand beside the board.. Okays at the count of three. All Smiles!" For a total of 23 groups standing under the rain and all.. but its a learning experience altogether for a golf event. The perfect moment to capture.. where to focus the second after the swing.. stuff like that.

Only during the dinner it was super fun! The runway show.. the dinner shoots and most of all this cool guy who lend me this 5 thousand over dollar camera to play around with!! That totally made my day! I didnt waste time eating the 10 course dinner.

Will upload the pics another day.

Here is day out at the park! We had lotsa fun!

(baby is so forgiving even when I take so many pictures!)

I seriously need to lear how to upload pics on blogger.

I am not angry just thought....

2007-03-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

My day has been a roller coaster literally.

Things at SMU are looking good which means more work and orders and less time to rest.

Felt really tired and skipped class for the first time. Jo* you are right its not easy to work and study!

The rained kept me from going to class too. The ppl at work are starting to preach to me about their religion and all I do is just listen but its annoying that they want you to agree and see their point. I do see your belief but I just dont believe.

Praise God for blessing me through raymond as I fixed his pc.

Praise God for the job assignement at the golf tournment.

Praise God for answering prayers for he is a God tt listens!

Here is the crunch point. Worship should never be about the hightened emotions that a chorous brings. It should never be about what your favourite songs are! It should be about what the Holy spirit wants to do. I know I feel bitter about being pushed away but I know God has a reson for doing what he did and I really want to know what it is! I am not going to drown myself with self pity. This is just my way to let out. Its myprivatewords. So keep it between your eyes and the screen.

Help me to see the bigger picture before friday. Please.

Point Blank

2007-03-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

This point of time I badly need to pray and seek him

I know everything will fall into place from there.

Weekends are nearing can you feel it!

2007-03-07T09:41:00.000-08:00

I dont feel as tired as I was, its like you never know until you hit the bed. Language Development module is really tough! 1. Cos I am not familar to phonetics and stuff. 2. Cos its really not easy! Have to get down and practice on my British accent and with the dictionary beside.

Try this! "Will merry mary marry him?"

If it sounds the same to you then you got a long way to go! Haha.. will upload lots of cool stuff next entry or smth! Maybe I should do a teaser for every post! Have been working at SMU btw and its really interesting to see and meet different ppl its like you see in a way how courteous youths are when you opened the door for them and they seemed like its your job! Well but if you wanna do deeds dont expect anything but just do it our of your own. Met Minmin (a pri sch friend after 7 yrs!) and its amazing tt you can still recognise each other and stuff! Met mabel too after such a long time!

I wanna change things

2007-03-05T04:27:00.002-08:00

I know that though this may come in too late but its never too late.

I have been playing silly games in my free time and I know I should be doing smth more constructive or smth cos at the end of the day there isnt any gain or worst still time is wasted! I am glad that my monday wasnt one of those days where I stayed glued to the television and dinner just come by.

I want to read the papers like I always have

I want to work out as much as I can

I want to read the bible and know everything about it

I want time to stop when sweetheart is here! Haha..

I want to be better.

Raw fish wasnt that good cos its so little.

Days of Heaven..

2007-02-25T01:23:00.000-08:00

Its been a darn long time since I blogged man! Boy! I do have so much to say! The CNY week is over already so is the most hyped up Valentine's day dinner. Anyways the reson why I can find time to blog is because the bus to this CNY gathering by the north west cdc isnt here yet. Where should I start..

Valentine's Day! It was such an experience for me! Believe it or not! I never knew that girls actually DO buy presents for their bfs! Haha.. I made my sweetheart a fairy tale book which I made a mistake in drawing her hair! Mambo was fun but I think she will soon grow to like it! *winks

Oh YES! Its our one month together already! Sat on the lovely swing and had a really good chat! Its always good to sit down in a quiet place and chat while my eyes are so ever blessed! Haha.. I began to see the relationship on a whole new level and it can never be explained here.

I MUST MUST SAY THIS!! GOD IS AWESOME!!! I am going to share this at cell how God has blessed me in such a wonderful way! You see having attched to a company to install rams (not sheep) for coms I made a mistake while changing the motherboard as well! Thus damaging the processor which cost 300 over dollars! Thats like my 2 days salary there! I prayed with buttercup and there! Just like that a processor just appeared by one of the engineers there!

I will spend all my days boasting of the Lord's greatness!

Different.

2007-02-08T08:58:00.000-08:00

I was surprised myself that I missed the chance to club when I was looking forward to it for almost half a year when I was going to ORD. Apparently, somethings have changed I guess.. I didnt have the mood to.. I didnt have the urge to.. I began to think about the cost and everything how much is going to go..Maybe with more cash at hand I might but I was also abit tired.. who knows. Jason was being a good friend saying that he could pay first but I couldnt let him to. Partly growing closer to God has made me more sensible.. to the things around me.. saying things that I shouldnt...how I could be more glorifying that sorta stuff..

I stumble upon a blog that I thought is very interesting because its solely delicated to God only. Think about it.. A blog being a space for somone to express themselves.. talk about the events during the day and all but this person chooses to blog only about God! I read a couple of entries and commented how inspiring his Blog is to me.

Now that I ORD life feels like my ICEC days being able to wake up late for some classes and all just that this time everyday its like tt! Haha.. I know I am rubbing it in esp to anyone reading this in the morning just know that I am still asleep.

Finally I am back!!!

2007-02-05T21:04:00.000-08:00

There is so much to share and I bursting to spill everything!

I had trouble at the google portal until I remb. my password. Chock was wondering if I would and I did! LEts see where should I start!

God: Its about time right big guy! I am finally coming back to the heart of things and I realise how much I miss you. You have always been there for me knowing my prayer even before I speak. I will praise you all of my days and I am forever grateful to you.
Xinlin: I am so ever happy that things turned out the way it is and I can never ask for more but for us to grow in spirit with God. You are amaze me with everything that you do. I am forever in love with you. You are my prayer partner and my sweetheart!
Duncan: We had our times dont we?! and I know that you will probably never going to read this but thanks so much for being there in Army and everything else. You are indeed a blessing and a listening hear when I needed someone to hear me out.
Jason: My photography mentor! Your knowledge and willingness to teach is amazing and I look forward to more trips we can go around and snap pictures! We should hang out more man.. 3204!
Jon: Party Animal! I dont think that would do you justice even man! We are sure gonna miss you around in the clubs! Haha.. Rmb our first time we club at China Black? Haha.. we were telling ppl we were officers man even though we are all botak! I will see you real soon in end of the yr!
Joanna: Thanks so much for being there I really appreciate it! Since ICEC days man when I enter army and now I am going to ORD! Dont worry victor's turn coming soon! Its been great talking to you about relationships and all..Haha.. One day will go disturb you at centrept ya! haha..
There is just so much to share! There is a steamboat thingy coming up... V. Day.. My audition at Kids Central! Do keep me in prayer! I really hope to get it! Cell this friday.. Seeing my sweetheart!

Jaws dropping. Shocked!

2007-01-19T05:42:00.000-08:00

Was at the supermarket so the festive season is around the corner and they are blasting the chinese songs! Yeah I know we only hear it once a year but still! If I am able to pick up the words correctly some words actually shouldnt be there! Like dating! and stuff..

Oh yeah like I was saying.. I saw this lady holding a bag to contain her son's pee! Look.. if its done in a corner its fine. But seriously this is done standing in the trolley! Not any normal bag but those tt allowed me to know if the boy has drank enough water or not! Haha..

It kinda hit me back to reality cos I havent been in touch with kids cos Sunday sch is a whole different thing. Get my driff?

Something you never knew.

2007-01-14T04:00:00.000-08:00

Well today I thought I never would be amused by Singaporeans but I was so wrong! Hmm.. Here goes. Actually to cut the long story short ppl are willing to make themselves inconvient so that others could be convient! Haha.. Like moving their seats so you can have two tables and this happened again soon after this!

Met chock today and we had fun taking neo prints! Haha.. havent took those in such a long time man but it was fun! So much to say. Will say later. Cheers!

2007-01-05T10:42:00.000-08:00

Documenting

2006-12-31T20:58:00.000-08:00

27th Dec 2006

Overall the trip has been an eventful expericence after every meal we would pack some food for the beggars - mostly children. Others come with babies in hand all in hope for a couple of cents from you. Improvement in the country has been really slow improving the sanitions and their quality of life.

25th Dec

Today is Christmas Day! Am now below the cave where Buddha gained enlightment how ironic isnt it? There are so many beggars here one can never imagine. There are easily a hundred of them. Policemen with a stick in hand trying to maintain order. Buddist belived that the first Buddha stayed 6 yrs sustaining with a grain of rice each day and listen to this.. The second one took 6 days cos the first taught him a eight limb prayer. So I was joking with my grandmother that so now given the knowledge she should only take 6 mins!! Haha.. Dont you agree? haha..

Well.. I dont think I am going to blog about everything cos its pretty long so I will leave the pictures to talk.

Present.

2006-11-28T04:46:00.000-08:00

Well.. Its been a while huh.. Having my block leave and I gave up looking for a job. so yeah.. haha.. Anyways Grandma's video just passed. So the album in the video is smth me and my sis made for her. I hate it or I feel very strongly against people using Children in the wrong terms. For example if someone say "The kids are only kids so it doesnt matter if they come or nt right?" Seriously thats the wrong mindset to have. Like my dad say.. some people live in their own world of right.

Anyways. We had fun! Could actually be better though but I couldnt get my hands on some stuff.

Its probably so..

2006-11-19T01:50:00.000-08:00

Cliques are everywhere. Though one may try as hard to make a conscious effort to fit in it takes the other party to open its door. I have seen people who feel left out but you as a person can do so much as to bridge the gap. I know that I cant click with some though it may seemed hard to believe, its kinda strange when you see each other growing up and all. If you catch my drift. Was told that coz am pretty much a leader which thinking often differs and found my gift with kids pehaps thats where I should stay. Blogging pretty much makes you more vulnerable reveals the other side of oneself.

My post for the couple of days have been short, a light read.

Ashley's Fund!

2006-11-12T07:22:00.000-08:00

Haha.. Its a random thought but am thinking of setting up a fund so tt I can be a step closer to getting the DSLR! I feel that I can do much more with better machines! I could take pictures for people over a day in return for their donation?! Haha.. Okay this thought is going out of hand. But come to think about it its feasible ya? Lol. Now that parents put a thumbs down to the idea of installments.

Give Thanks!!

2006-11-08T04:58:00.000-08:00

I wanna give thanks to God for gving my mum the idea of buying my fav. RAW FISH! She never fails to provide the best meals ever! RAW FISH again! Its one of the food that I seriously look forward to. I need to get a DSLR. I stress the word need cos I want to take Good pictures and on the other hand for my trip to Tibet! If you are going to see Mt Everest you need good cameras! Haha.. This entry is pretty lively. Haha.. am going to do up the blog once I have the time.

Finally I am back Home!

2006-10-30T02:10:00.000-08:00

Feels great to be home after such a long time. Come to think of it I dont think how I can ever manage if I would to study overseas. There are so many things to share along with so much pictures! The sky and sunsets in Thailand is pretty nice as compared here due to many buildings that covers the island. Thailand should be Singapore's role model in terms of being friendly and land of many smiles. Yet again just to highlight what Jason said that we go there as tourist in a foreign land service just been boosted by 200 percent or more. Being a tourist has its pros and cons. you are either trapped in bargaining down exorbitant prices and enjoy the all the warmth the country has to offer.

The end of this exercise marks the ending of my army life all is going to be over with less than 50 working days. Going back to civilian life soon I really cant wait to embrace it but a tinge of me just want to slack-relax-get-paid. I had many fond memories during my exercise mingling with the Thai soilders and learning as much of the language as I can. Its really fun! Speaking the language breaks the ice cos they just burst out laughing at your prouncation. God has been really good to me. All my prayers in regards to the weather was answered! It didnt rain during out exercise but every other day before it! God is Great!

Just yesterday my view of the neighbourhood changed 360. Managed to help write a letter for a couple in dire situation to the HDB which I will not mention here but my heart goes out to all of them. It showed me the kinder side of the government doing its part for the people as they come with burdens seeking much help. Its just one of the ways to give back to the community I guess.

I miss you very much.

2006-10-06T10:05:00.000-07:00

Never thought I would be one of those talking about this.

I miss you very much.
I think about you time to time.
How have you been?

Things I know I can never say. Neverless get an answer.
I cherish the times we spent together, your reactions while watching those movies.
You brought out the side of me I never knew.
This is one of those nights.

Missing you.

Get me back into the rthythm

2006-10-01T06:07:00.000-07:00

David sat across the table and spoke about his brother and himself. Cliff was hanging onto his every word and trying to make sense of everything.. Jessie was minding her food and passing casual comments that people need to hear like "Uh.. Oh yeah? " I was totally the opposite forcing out a smile and moving along to the conversation.

Somehow I wasnt feeling the moment and enjoy it like I usually would.
I think I am.. Numb.
Had a conversation with stacia that one wouldnt ever be tired of holding conversations as long as Christ is in the picture. After discussing abt the world and exhausting each individual's interest, asking how life is treating them all that. It just stops there.. uninteresting anymore.

In short I need to really come back to Christ after drifting so far.
Think about it all the doors would be open to you when Christ is for you.
Everything will fall into place.. Prayers so extreme would be answered.
Just like David who has an all expense paid trip to watch U2 in Aust.
Sometimes we know the blessing that follows but just wouldnt walk the road
because everything is going fine for them. Its by grace.

Something to think about.

Nothing much.

2006-09-26T05:44:00.000-07:00

Yeah nothing much to talk about really these couple of days spent reading. sleeping and slacking around waiting for my final fieldcamp in Thailand.

Everytime I am in camp I always miss home cooked food and the time spend with family. My mum will always know what I miss about her food. The korean fish done to perfection. Raw fish that I crave so so much.

If I got nothing to say I wont say it. so yeah.

IMF.

2006-09-17T04:50:00.000-07:00

Am in the process of printing all my pics and place them in an album. So if you are interested do wave your hands so I can see them! Haha.. Am lazy to type.Nth much to say though except for the last field camp then last one in Thailand. But I found someone who shares the same sentiments as me in regards to the IMF. Presenting Adeline!

Woops. Just realise tt I cant copy and paste here! Thats how lazy I am today.

Well.. she was saying that Singapore is trying to put up a show and all.. getting new plants along orchard road. Fighting the battle of winning 4 million smiles all in the name of putting a good impression.

As she goes on to say that we are all guilty of similar instances but on a much smaller scale. For example how many times we are told to do the chores and everything before someone or guests comes to your house? How many times we were told to put on our best for chinese new year? I once asked my mum if I could just wear singlet and shorts but there the argument that you need to respect the other party for putting up a front as well.

All in the name for good and lasting expression.

Here is the list.

2006-09-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

Some of you may know that I love to indulge and one of it would be cutting hair and other certain things, an excuse would be because I am serving the army? Haha.. Had quite a few hair cuts at different places and all so here is a low down in my opinion.

Studio : NEXT

Location : Holland V.

Rating : ++++ ( I am bias.)

The ambience is really posh-futuristic-black. One of the highlights of the session is their signature hair wash which includes up to shoulder rub. One person said "The hair wash was so good that I almost fell asleep." So if you want a piece of massage and cut this would be the place. The chairs are not the conventional where your foot rest on bended metal pieces but nice leather seats all aound a good seat in if you are in for long. Hair wash session is always filled with polite questions in regards to pressure applied to water temp. They would normally recommend the styles that would suit your face or suggest to try something new. Styling os done by the stylist. The cost- thirty 5 for male cut and director cut is 55. Scap treatment is above 50.

Studio : Kleancut

Location : Far East

Rating : +++

A little crowded but alright weaving around seats. The hair massage varies dramatically with different people all around slightly above average standards. If you want a good run for your money look out for the young lady with Big eyes, she really takes pride in what she does. The seats are pretty much normal. I corrected one of them a few times regarding my requests though he tried not to look irritated but doesnt hide very well haha... The other stylist are generally fine. The cost is 2 eight and 20 dollars for scap treatment which is really worth the money only when 20 dollars spents and above.

Studio : E10

Location : Bukit Panjang

Rating : ++

Standards have dropped dramatically. People are generally friendly. Hair wash is pretty around average. The stylist would also suggest what looks great on you and follow your request quite closely. Cost is about 2 eight dollars.

Studio :Rave

Location: Far East. Along obey shop.

Rating :++

Small studio which actually delivers. Everything is pretty standard though. You are treated with a wash-cut-wash for only 12 dollars. This place has only 2 stylist and gets pretty crowded on weekends. In my opinion it is really worth your money!

Studio :10 mins/cut/10 dollars. (cant rem the name)

Location : Island wide.

Rating : +

If you are in a rush then this is for you. You have to be clear as communication can be pretty bad as I encountered one. Got bald cos I told her army style so she thought recuit. End of story. Haha.. Usually more than 10 mins after timing them 3 times but it isnt too long.

Studio :Super Cuts.

Location : Various outlets.

Rating : None.

For some reason the staff there have no knowledge how much is one cut. The stylist uses the fastest method to get things done. The hair wash is pretty messy. Everything is pretty standard. Dont be fooled by the advertisements outside. Dont go. Dont waste your time.

Studio : Jean Yip.

Location: Various

Rating : ++

Standard. Hair wash can get pretty messy with soap in your eyes. Stylist are all from KL so be careful with the communication there.

There is the low down. So it makes it easier for you to choose from. Any questions feel free to message me. Next one is going to be on food or massages. Cheers!

Wweeeekkeeennndd. (Long weekend. Got it?) Lol.

2006-09-04T03:18:00.000-07:00

If you know me well you would know that I find listening in to other people's conversation very interesting. But was telling adeline that it sometimes get to the point of regret when you hear the gf whining to the guy. YiKEs!

Below is not something that I learned about or rather just want to point out.

Two girls are talking about getting a job after the exams and I noticed how one of them would just look else where and not pay much attention to what the other person is saying and utter some "yeah..Uh.." that kinda thing. Her friend I assume did not catch that the other party is not interested in the conversation. Well some people just want to be heard and tell others about their life story and maybe check on each other and say their Goodbyes. Kind of like the American culture.

You know when you see some people younger than you and see how they behave you know that they are just going through the phrase and probably going to get out of it. It is at the same time amusing and make you cringe. Oh well. Am not judging or anything just something I observed.

Its a rainy thursday.

2006-08-30T03:25:00.000-07:00

These couple of weeks in army is going to get tougher after we did AHM (Army Half Marathon) and it really opened my eyes to the various aspects of mankind. (sound so abstract ya? Haha..) We worked round the clock up to 27 hours straight preparing the route for the run. I was push to my ultimate limits.

This was setup by me and the guys at 430 in the morning at Suntec! I am sorta perfectionist that explains why the net are all so straight.

If that is not enough we were told to "rescue" people cos they could not finish in time along the ECP. It was along this stretch of road that my tolerance was tested time and again by passing vehicles. Four vehicles had people shouting "ORD Loh!" I kept my cool.

Yeah RIGHT!!

How could I when we are doing cheap labour in the early morning! Leave you to imagine what happened.

I love taking pixs of people when they are asleep.

Was only one with a camera so I am safe! LoL!

Come to think of it this is going to be a picture blog and I dont know if its a good thing or bad.

Women to Laugh Men to handle.

2006-08-20T06:52:00.000-07:00

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles,not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,"Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws."

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.The wife said, "You should do it, because you get upfirst, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."So she fetched the Bible, and opened the NewTestament and showed him at the top of several pages,that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would findit. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM andhe had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why hiswife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draftbefore the masterpiece.

Numb.

2006-08-19T08:59:00.000-07:00

"I just lost my Hp in a cab last week and a guitar a couple of months ago.. Someday I am going to lose my Gf. "
The Cab driver laughed.
So yeah I am so numb to losing things especially phones. Seriously it has been more than 5 times since... School?
"So you guys cant always say that business has been bad right?"
Well I am not pointing fingers or anything but I talked to a couple of drivers and they told me how the lost and found thingy works. You see if the operators don't really want to be the middle person and stuff you have no or slight chance actutally no chance at getting things back. But Praise God for Friends. :)
Watched Lucky No.7 today.. Its really a good movie that one should catch if you are over 21. BUT! They dont check at cini. You didnt hear it from me. Its really good because of its unpredictable plot... Actress (Lucy Liu) and Script! Not Cos its a R21 movie. You catch my driff. Haha..
I told 4 lies to cover up one. One leads to another and another.. So dont start.

Dad always provides.

2006-08-13T08:05:00.000-07:00

Everytime the national day comes around I will always remember the question that I asked my dad when I was a kid.

"How come you know the commands that guy said? Do they have a book to memorise?"

My dad answered "Not too sure."

Now that I am in the army there is actually a book that keeps the commands used during drills but its not widely avaliable. My dad is seriously the best! Had a conversation with a cab driver and he apparently dont care what the son does in the army and I felt pretty had for the son but on the other hand it could boills down to culture and practice in the family. Whenever I am late to book into camp my dad never fails to give some hand out and he always have his way of knowing my financial status! Its amazing! He usually ask around 20th onwards. It means alot when it comes.

This entry is for my Dad. I want to fit into his shoes someday.

Fish!

2006-07-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

Alright, I wasnt refering to a curse word but rather a pet! It is ALIVE! Still after I stepped on it by accident. Of course its protected with a bag. Yes this is my first ever pet, its a blue fighting fish and it only cost one dollar! Plus its food is four times the fish! This is something new we shall see how long it lives.. I had this weird tingle when I transfered the fish from its bag to the jar when I was in contact with the fish. Haha..

The quality of your life depends on your thoughts.

This can be looked at many different views. For example, if you are not really well to do (didnt want to use the word poor) and you gererally think happy thoughts or am comtented you would love life! Just like me! So I never want to fastward anything. But you can never reflect on life when you are down. So yeah.. Got loads to say though well another time.

2006-07-16T06:07:00.000-07:00

Dont you wanna spend more and enjoy yourself?
Dont you wanna spend until you can buy both instead of choosing?
Dont we all....

Hmm.. I dont happen to fall into the second one though. Spending so much money that I ought to control! I have this theory of mine, I spend almost all I have after two weeks of pay right and I control that urge until pay comes again and I spend almost all of it. Sounds like another cycle ya? Haha.. So how does one break from this cycle? Either work but on the other hand it gives us an opportunity to spend more or stay at home.

To me this blog is like it serves as evidence to events that have taken place and at the same time having the world as your therapist or being your own.

Never see it coming.

2006-07-14T23:47:00.000-07:00

I was with Liss walking down orchard road and I saw her with another guy like me walking towards us and we exchanged glances thats all.

I saw so much greatness in her when many thought that she was hopeless and all but I was blind to see that it was just a cover. We met up a couple of times discussing her future, she leaned forward listening closely and asking questions. I fell for it. She was trying to get things going for her according to her no one will ever know. She approached me for a couple of hundred bucks and I actually believed her as she seems so genuine. Its as though she didnt knew that the phone works both ways, I never got any return calls or messages. I was pressing to my cash back after a couple of months. Its so crazy cos you thought you could be that friend that could change her life but the tables turned and changed yours. We talked about friends that just come in and out of our lives and I told her that she was one of those to me.

She said "Dont say that..I will return it to you..I promise"

I learned alot from this not to completely trust anyone although many would like you to. Some people said that "If you lend your money away dont expect to ever get it back" Take it as you donated it to charity. Joeann made sense. The guy would be her next I am so sure of it. I choose not to chase the matter when it came straight at me because I learned to let go and move on. Its going to be like a cycle if you gave chase.

I never see it coming.

It was an honest mistake..

2006-07-09T09:11:00.000-07:00

I blew like 200 dollars today!! And its pay day so yeah.. It happens with me.. that is why I told chantille that if I have a gf now she musnt expect me to pay stuff! whahaha.. I so wish that everyday is like that! Though I talked abt ppl's blog going through the day and how boring it is but this is different!

Started off with Lunch at Tanglin Club an international buffet spread courtesy of Duncan's Mum..Mrs White (Its a really cool surname) Dropped by lvl 9 for Halo 2 and I think Duncan is TAKING SECRET LESSONS! Totally! I shall leave the details out... Oh yeah saw a singlet at Zara though it looks so hideous but I still wanna try and see it.. Totally GAY! (gray..I know so lame..haha) Just for the fun of it.

Something I will never wear around.
The align things is irritating! Cant get it to justify anyways.. Bought an AF tee and went for a haircut at Next was different coz the place is pretty posh and it was done by a Butch. Nothing against them just a first. Drinks were on Dunc at Cafe Geko (Inside Joke) Was pretty high after that leading the wrong way around Quake and talking at irregular volumes. Dropped by for a massage along hillview.. Its so so GOOD! PArt of the reason was to bring down the flusted face. haha..
Tired. Italy will Win! Money on.

Godd stuff..

2006-07-01T19:15:00.000-07:00

This entry is going to be pretty long but its good stuff man so take the time to read... Just finished guard duty came across this from a member of a Tuesday Grp (kinda like a cell with people of all walks)

Secrets of adultery ï¿½ how to seduce someone else's husband
One Tuesday evening, I sat down for food before Tuesday Group and the conversation was on the conversation of the last Tuesday Group Men's/Women's fellowship.
Seems that there was a somewhat spirited discussion on whether women who dressed in a fashion that affected men "biologically" (Come on, don't make me spell it out for you people. I am married and have 2 kids, but I still blush easily!) were doing so deliberately for the sake of ego trips, to know that they had that kind of power over guys.
I'd like to share something a little different, from a different slant, as it were. You see, when I was bumming around (the spiritual ones will call it my "wilderness experience") I would help my mum out with her law practice. One thing that I had to do was ! to serve divorce papers on people.
For those of you who don't know, when a person decides to petition for divorce, divorce papers (containing the reasons for seeking divorce, proposed parenting arrangements and all that kind of stuff) are served (delivered, in plain English) on the other person. And if the petitioner is seeking divorce because of adultery, they will often name the other woman (or man) involved and the divorce papers are served on them too.
Ready for the shocking discovery? As I actually met women responsible for breaking up marriages and families, I discovered that in almost all the cases, THEY WERE UGLIER THAN THOSE MEN'S WIVES!
Now I used to be a big fan of a marriage counseling book on the different needs of men and women ("How to affair-proof your marriage" it claims) but this threw the theories of that book out the window. "God, teach me what on earth is going on here!"
People, precious brothers and sisters of Tuesday Group, listen up to what I am going to share now. Brothers, if you know this you have one more layer of defense against falling in love with the wrong women.
Sisters, if you understand what I'm gonna share next, you have the power to break up marriages by causing married men to fall deeply in love with you, even if their wives are ravishing beauties.
Of course, I'd rather you use the information to keep your own future husbands deeply in love with you and secure your own marriages, OK?
What I found was this. Men have two very deep, very primal emotional needs. Women who choose to meet these needs become irresistible to men. The needs are:
1) to feel happy with who they truly are when they are with a woman
2) to know that this woman is truly happy when she is with them.
But what usually happens after marriage?
The dude comes home after a hard day's work. The first words out of his wife's mouth are "Do you know what YOUR son did today?" followed by a torrent of complaints about whatever the little tyke broke, tore and smashed that day.
(As a side note, one of my ex-church leaders once said "Ever notice that when the son does something good the wife calls him "our son" and when he does something bad it's "YOUR son?")
And when it comes to Sunday morning, it usually gets worse. The wife is usually the first one up. She'll lovingly prepare breakfast, help pack the kid's stuff and all that.
Then barge into the bedrooms of the rest of the family yelling at them that they're gonna be late for church. Don't know about you, but I'd rather get less sleep by waking up in a gentler fashion than to get an extra hour but wake up with my heart pounding, frantically groping for my bullet-proof vest, japanese sword and gas mask because I thought we were under some terrorist attack. How about you?
And after that the wife feels so frustrated and pissed off at why everyone else in the family is grumpier than her even though they got more sleep than she didï¿½
By the way, in case you're wondering, NO, Rachel doesn't do that to me, OK? ;-)
To the dude, married life is a series of minor catastrophies. He is fighting fires day-by-day and he gets tired. This, ladies, is a dangerous situation.
But it's even more dangerous if there are issues that need to be worked out. If the wife is unhappy with the dude over his job, or his pay, or his hobby. And she regularly makes it known by complaining or nagging at him about it. And he gets even more tired.
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. (Pro 21:9)
Hey sisters, let me tell you something. When we dudes look at you and decide that we wanna have a dating/courtship relationship with you, we usually are looking out for red-flags, warning signs that tell us the future problems we're gonna have with you when we get married.
And if we actually propose to you, we do so knowing your problems and hang-ups. We look at them and say "Hey, I can live with them." And we foolishly shrug our shoulders and assume that you ladies look at our problems and hang-ups in the same way too, that if you agree to marry us you're cool with who we really are, warts and all.
That's why, sisters, nagging and complaining about us hits us so badly. It hits us at our core emotional need for acceptance. If the woman I love and choose to spend the rest of my life with is so dissatisfied with me, there must be something really wrong with me. How then can I be happy with being who I really am?
"Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife." (Pro 21:19) Current equivalents would be sleeping in the void deck of the HDB flat or dozing off at the park bench at a nearby reservoir.
By the way, guys, this also applies to women. I had this conversation with a beautiful, intelligent and charming lady. She is a master organizer and planner, and what I am with music is what she is with languages. Hardly the candidate for poor self-esteem.
She married a man 10 years older than her biologically (but around my son Jessiah's age emotionally). Now, she's basically cool with it (lovingly calling her husband her BIG baby) but on the occasions when he starts displaying his emotional age he would really tear her down
And she would be down. So I asked her once why on earth she allowed her overgrown baby's wrong opinions of her affect her. She replied "because he's my life partner, a part of me. If I reject his opinion of me, I am also rejecting myself." It's hard for me to explain, but those who have been where she has been will understand. It's kinda like rejection from parents, you know, if the people who brought me into this world think I'm lousy, I must be lousy.
And at this point, any woman who can meet our core needs is gonna affect us powerfully. Hey, it may not even grow to the point of adultery. But doesn't it offend your very sensibilities that it's another woman who makes your husband feel good about being himself, and not YOU?
And if this other woman is genuinely happy when she's with your husband, he's gonna look at her seriously. Even if he's still loyal to you, if he's gotta choose between spending time with you (and hearing you nag) or spending time with her (watching her smile and laugh) who do you think he's gonna choose?
"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was free like me?"
- Pussycat Dolls, "Don't cha"
And don't let the marriage vow deceive you into thinking you can get away with emotionally abusing your husband. I had to confront this woman who discovered that her husband, a serious believer, loving father and a husband with a heart of servanthood, fell in love with another woman. It was only his love for God and his children that kept him from actually committing adultery with her.
I had to be the one who told her "If you've been threatening him with divorce at every quarrel (from within the first 3 months of marriage) and constantly telling him how marrying him has totally ruined your future, your hopes, your dreams and your life, how do you think he's gonna feel about anyone who's happy when she's with him?"
Beloved sisters of Tuesday group, I plead with you, don't ever let your marriage go there. Because you know after every quarrel he's wondering why he married you instead of her. He'll be wondering how much longer he can put up with this. And he's gonna be praying "God, deliver me from this marriage!"
Yah, I know this is a super-long and heavy post. So let me sum up quickly.
"Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" Ephesians 5:33
Guys, please recognize the power of the two needs I mentioned. You need a woman who makes you happy to be who you really are. And who is truly happy when she's with you. This is the type of woman you WILL love as you love yourself.
On your side the responsibility is this: NEVER commit yourself to a woman who doesn't fulfill these needs, or even worse, is dragging you down in this two areas.
I don't care if she's a pastor, super-model or worship-leader, I don't care how many church meetings, prayer meetings or bible-studies she goes to each week, I don't care how much she's "improved" (God, that word makes me cringe to the very core of my being!) since you first got to know her.
If she makes you unhappy about being you, or you can't see regular evidence that she's happy when she's with you (and don't lie to yourself guys), leave her.
Now.
Because it may be that this woman is unable to fulfill your core needs because of who she is as a person. And if you put her in a position where she HAS to fulfill them even though she can't, you are not being fair to her, putting on her a burden she can't carry.
And if you meet a woman fulfills all these needs for you, recognize this: she's like water to a thirst you may never realized you had. So before you totally lose all ability for rational thought, get a couple of good brothers-in-Christ to check her out and look out for danger signs that you're most probably gonna miss, because you're too deeply in love.
And sisters, when you look for a husband, I plead with you, don't just look for a godly man. Seriously, they abound (just turn up for Tuesday Group!). Look for a man for whom you fulfill these needs just by being you.
Because if you can fulfill those needs, you WILL respect your husband, as God commands. Effortlessly. It takes genuine respect for who your husband truly is as a person to make him happy to be himself when he's with you. And to be happy when you're with him.
Junk the angmo-nised cookie cutter approach to relationships and marriage that you'll get by browsing the Christian bookshops. The books that get sold there make you believe that marriage is meant to be hard work, and you need to learn 5 love languages, 5 needs of men and women and go through one year of devotionals on becoming soul mates.
After all the experiences I've been through and all the relationships and marriages I've seen, I can honestly tell you from the depths of my heart, if you're not soul mates to begin with, you won't be even after going through all those books, seminars and message CDs.
Finally, brothers and sisters, spend lots of time in God's presence. Because through the blood of Christ he's given you a darn good reason to be happy with who you truly are as a person and he's overjoyed whenever you're with him. And when you get used to having those two needs met by God, you'll recognize it when you meet that special someone who'll meet those needs for you.

yeah tell me what you think..

Tired Ash going to frisbee

Goals I guess..

2006-06-22T09:17:00.000-07:00

I love this blog for the fact that its so private in a way that not many people read this. Thats because some would get offended and others wouldnt understand.

Someone said to me

"You are a nice guy. Dont let the army change you."

Reflecting back it has to a certain way but its spending time with the Lord never fails to bring me back. I tried to find comfort in songs on my phone but none seemed to work. Only God can give peace nothing else.

I have set some goals for myself to get a Gold for the fitness test this year and I did. I trained hard for the past two weeks pushing the limits almost destroying my body. Lots of things crossed my mind when I ran.. People that I was running for, the encouragment from various people along the route and the cash of course! Well there were people that didnt believed in me and only two that did. Its the two that matter. I have always beem telling people that there are people in your life that just pass by you.

Like my dad said

Friends are like seasons they come and go but family... is forever.

Been a while..

2006-06-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

Well.. much has been these couple of weeks.. learnt quite abit from it. It sounds crazy but somehow or rather I see my kids reading this and learning from my experiences. Haha..

Stiches, Comedy and People. Lets just say that they have surfaced the pass couple of weeks. Life is really short and I wish I could capture them and put it in a box so whenever I want to experience it I could always take it at one time. But we all know that its never going to happen. I believe that my parents are the best when it comes to people that I look up to and they are always so perfect in my eyes. When I have kids I want them to experience the way I did. I always thought that by adulthood most or all our issues are settled or at least the big ones but I was wrong probably coz my parents are so perfect to me. So I took another lesson from there.

I think we all get hooked on something one way or another. For me its the frequent hair cut, buying of clothes and maybe massage (am still trying to book for one more session..haha) Its an expensive way to indulge so my army pay is never enough.. Haha.. Cant wait for promotion though.

If I could improve one thing in army it would be for us to take some time off activities when we are really not in the mood to as I did two days ago. Its like you are doing the same activities but you so need a break coz you just want to give your best for it.

I miss God so much. I need to get back so badly.

It happens.

2006-05-21T19:13:00.000-07:00

It happened so fast all within minutes that shake the very nerve within us.

I am truly blessed to say that God's hands are never too short to save.

Isa 59:1

I knew that he couldnt pull it though from the looks of it.I wanted to sit with him to make sure but if not for JW that took my place I would be really really be gone. It was so close as I heaved a sigh of relief. The punishment they took for driving really hit them hard. I was part to blame to tempt them into it after my go at it.

But I learned alot from this and its to be responsible for your actions. We often hear that but how many of us actually follow? But its in times like these you see true courage in a man. One would run away and plead ignorance about his men while the other would savage the situation. I am truly thankful for the almighty God above! My uncle said to me "God's grace saves but its his wisdom that walk you away from it"

Jw & Yz: My friends I pray that God will carry both of you through these times and that you reflect and learn at this point of your service.

Its better to desire than to have..

2006-05-15T08:59:00.000-07:00

She taught me that phrase, one that she came up with. I find myself wondering from time to time how is life treating her but knowing her she is doing just fine.

His words have seemed so much more real to me now that I see the importance of seeking God and just soaking up all his goodness. I began to have more compassion for the people who do not know Jesus I mean time its really really short..

Operation has pretty much into end of its first week now and it can get pretty taxing on the whole when you have three shifts with only five hours of rest in between over three days. Getting to know Duncan more and with him around it makes army much more enduring and think about it I am going to finish this feb which is a couple of months time. Something I told Duncan and I would like to share with anyone reading this that as you look up to the sky think of The Creator of the Heavens and the earth. How much should we feel so at peace and blessed when we are called his children! Nothing is indeed too hard for thee.

People are getting more busy themselves as I ask how they are coping. Sometimes it gets tiring with the same answers and you ask yourself if you are caught up in the similar race. Well for me I try not to occupy myself with things that are not necessary coz life is really too short. I say we ought to have a day set aside to relax but you can say that there is labour day maybe one isnt enough.

19th May

Just ended another shift at Jurong Island and I did blocker which was practically standing on the road divider. I did a small survey to see which group of people are the more friendly or responsive ones. I waved and smiled at all the drivers in my close-to-MI2-shades...So CONCLUSION! The non-chinese are more friendly! haha. Some looked at me as if I was suppose to be stern looking and stuff hiding away our agony and increasing body heat! I really take my hat off to the CISCO officers who does the checking of vehicles coz they get very little rest with so much work! PLUS! The air pollution is so so bad that after three hours you seriously get a sore throat. Made friends with them and they are really nice ppl and all.. Believe it or not there is this female officer who is only 19! Damn! "You seriously like being with the police?!" ( She beamed away.) Amazing. But seriously you can tell she is having a hard time.

Listen. No one take their work seriously as bland as it sounds but true. Come on checking 5000 vehicles a day! I would too!

Ash

A First..

2006-05-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

So well here again at a new blog since the one on friendster isnt going now.. There is so much to say so here goes..

Rachel has left for the states for quite some time so going to be back only in Aug. I finally realise why things are happening this way. Its because I behave in such a way that I am looking at a relationship but am actually nt. I just really enjoy her company. Really I do. I guess she knew that things might progress from there so much said I respect decisions that she made.

Though I do miss her whenever we hang out at the cafe.

Am 20 now but the it doesnt feel any different probably when I reach 21? Saying that I think Birthdays are great way to see if yr friends remember kinda a gauge where you stand in their lives? Anyone disagree?

I love Life and I thank God for giving me eyes to appreciate them in ways that many do not. I wish I could capture every moment of it taking beautiful pictures and videos cos these moments are never going to return. Will upload some pictures soon.

The army has slacken quite abit for me as I continue to test the system if you know what I mean. I will let the pictures speak for themselves.

Just stumble on this blog that has some AMAZING pictures. Its really good if you are into different POV. pouringdown.blosgspot.com Do check it out! So yeah.

Till then.

Ash